| Mr. Ross' Electric Paddle |
 Mr. Ross' Electric Paddle
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Sep. 17th, 2008 @ 01:47 pm 
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Saw this article today:
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/26746703/
I also give it my stamp of approval. If kids don't fear their teachers, then they are going to turn into little monsters.
Trip down memory lane:
When I was in grade school we had a principal by the name of Mr. Ross. (Or Roth. I forget. I was a deaf kid.)
Rumor had it that hidden somewhere in his office, Mr. Ross had the ultimate form of school punishment, the Paddle. But this was not just any paddle, the whispers in the schoolyard claimed it was 'An Electric Paddle'.
I had spent some time trying to figure out exactly what an electric paddle was. Sure, the name itself was fearsome enough to send shivers down ones spine, but what exactly did it consist of?
Obviously, the thing had a cord on it and had to be plugged into the wall. From there I had two personal theories of how it worked:
1) The paddle itself was electrified, and every time it was brought down, it delivered not only a painful swat, but it also discharged a high voltage shock, thus doubling the the amount of pain it could deliver with each swing.
2) The paddle end was attached to some sort of swinging servo-mechanism, so that when held in front of the fanny of an ill-mannered child, all one had to do was press a button to have it deliver a high-speed barrage of paddles that could probbaly be measured in a formidable amount of paddles-per-second. A kid would not even have time to scream as the room filled with the sound of whirling servos and the SMACK SMACK SMACK of paddle on butt. The principal, of course, would simply be standing there smirking at how little of an effort it was costing him.
Luckily I was a good kid and never actually saw the electric paddle. In fact, I do not think I even recall any kids who had saw it first had either. However, I had no doubt the dreadful thing existed. I wonder if it is still around somewhere, rusting and collecting dust in some old file cabinet after it was retired to make way for a less violent school existence.
Perhaps one day a need for it will come again, and some fearful principal, his school being overrun by insolent brats, will take a deep shot of whiskey to calm his nerves as he unlocks the cabinet and pulls it out, whispering to himself, "So, it has come to this. I have prayed I would never have to use it. God have mercy on our souls."
That's what I think. |
![[User Picture Icon]](http://l-userpic.livejournal.com/50574008/4013602) |
| From: | ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) z0rb |
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| Date: |
September 18th, 2008 12:19 pm (UTC) |
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Maybe it simply had an electric heater in the handle to keep his hand warm while he paddled ill-mannered lads.
My Uncle had a paddle and he drilled countersunk holes in it to reduce wind resistance and it would whistle when he used it on my cousins.
Whistling Willy they called it.
erm
I know some Kink type people who would LOVE that paddle
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